I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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