1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love black thongs
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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