y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
