I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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