she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
