The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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