I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
