I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
