My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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