none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
