I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
