Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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