it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I need moral support for this bender
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
