If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
