That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need moral support for this bender
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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