i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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