how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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