He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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