Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
