I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Boobs speak an international language.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
