Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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