i will never coherently bang her
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
