wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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