i think my tv is drunk
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
