Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
