Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
