She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My life is pants optional.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
