she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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