Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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