she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
