dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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