I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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