my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
