grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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