fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
