just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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