I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
