I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
