So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
