her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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