Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
