oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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