HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
