I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
