My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
