He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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