I want to have your abortion
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
