People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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