You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
