the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
