I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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