I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
