D3 body, D1 cock
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
